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Post by joe on Nov 11, 2013 22:27:15 GMT
Courtesy of OLD MO from Fun
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This 80 year old woman was arrested for shoplifting in a supermarket.
When she went before the judge he asked her, 'What did you steal?'
She replied, 'A can of peaches.'
The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches, and she replied that she was hungry.
The judge asked her how many peaches were in the can.
She replied that there were six.
The judge said, 'Then I will give you six days in jail.'
Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband stood up, and asked the judge if he could say something.
The judge said, 'What is it?'
The husband said, ‘She also stole a can of peas.’
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2014 14:44:03 GMT
Courtesy of OLD MO from Fun ======================================== This 80 year old woman was arrested for shoplifting in a supermarket........................... .................................................... ......................... The husband said, ‘She also stole a can of peas.’ I refer to your ebay post and it seems you have a fixation with canopys. There are people on here that can help you. A simple cry for help and we will be there for you. Not me personally of course as I do not know my canopy's from a can of carrots.
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Post by joe on Mar 8, 2014 15:23:36 GMT
Pusser do put your glasses on this is a post about bloody shoplifting and a can of peas, this lot in here will get well confused now
Peter
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Post by 747 on Mar 8, 2014 15:57:14 GMT
Are you sure it was not canapés she stole?
Come on Peter, get the story right.
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Post by joe on Mar 8, 2014 16:01:34 GMT
It was a can of bloody peaches (another illiterate who needs specsavers)
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Post by alhod on Mar 9, 2014 7:24:05 GMT
I had a peach of a canapy - it leaked pees all over the CC site
Oh sorry - wrong thread, I think. Help!!!
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Post by Deleted on Mar 9, 2014 7:41:52 GMT
I ate a whole can of sweetcorn once (not the can but just the sweetcorn) and it exited my body precisely in the same form as it entered. So what's the bleedin' point of eating it. (Rhetorical)
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Post by alhod on Mar 9, 2014 8:03:38 GMT
Just to check the passage time!
(what's the meaning of rect oricle?)
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bg
New Member
Posts: 3
Likes: 1
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Post by bg on Mar 13, 2014 0:09:52 GMT
rect oricle is when you talk through your arse
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Post by Deleted on Mar 13, 2014 7:20:59 GMT
rect oricle is when you talk through your arse Much wisdom has flowed from a bottom over the anals of history and you only have to survey the multitude of posts on Motorhome Fruitcakes to prove that point. We pride ourselves in giving assistance and advice to fellow members and, unlike other motorhome sites, in a clear and concise manner. You just do not get this standard of advice anywhere in the world because we have purposely set our standards to low. Very low actually. p.s. I don't suppose you know anything about peas and peaches do you? If you are an expert in this field please p.m. JC as he is in some difficulty.
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Post by tugboat on Mar 13, 2014 8:46:29 GMT
I'm not sure I like being referred to as a member!
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bg
New Member
Posts: 3
Likes: 1
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Post by bg on Mar 14, 2014 0:06:52 GMT
I had a peach of a pee earlier. The drive took a bit longer than I thought and was it a relief to get home.
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Post by tugboat on Mar 14, 2014 8:20:04 GMT
I had a peach of a pee earlier. The drive took a bit longer than I thought and was it a relief to get home. Good heavens, man, you must live in a fantastic stately home to have such a long drive.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 14, 2014 8:24:46 GMT
Courtesy of OLD MO from Fun ======================================== This 80 year old woman was arrested for shoplifting in a supermarket. When she went before the judge he asked her, 'What did you steal?' She replied, 'A can of peaches.' The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches, and she replied that she was hungry. The judge asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied that there were six. The judge said, 'Then I will give you six days in jail.' Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband stood up, and asked the judge if he could say something. The judge said, 'What is it?' The husband said, ‘She also stole a can of peas.’ I have been giving your post some thought and there are one or two things that really need discussing as I believe some of the statements may not conform to the honesty, quality and integrity of this site. 1... First of all why did the Judge ask the old lady what she had stolen. As the judge, he should have known and if he did not there is good reason for an appeal. 2... You need corroborative evidence to establish it was in fact a can of peaches as against a can of worms for example because she could be a compulsive liar and actually not stolen anything. Maybe under duress from her husband too. 3...If she knew how many peaches were in the can she must have eaten them thus destroying any evidence and without the peaches it is case dismissed. 4...A good barrister would also have a critical point that if there were indeed peaches in the can, they would be peaches cut in half and therefore 12 halves of peaches would not fit in the can and further more had the old lady consumed all 12 pieces at once she would have given herself indigestion which is a type of self harm which if found guilty would lead to a shrink report and a reduction in sentence if found guilty. 5. It is a guaranteed appeal re sentencing because it could be argued by the prosecution that her sentence should be 12 days due to 12 items being in a can assuming there was a can big enough to hold 6 peaches. 6. The husband as a relative would not be seen as a plausible witness as he is, by definition, a close relative. Therefore the peas would not be admissible. 7. No peas would presented to the court so no case (or tin in this case - well, not actually in a case)to answer. There are one or two things other that are not in keeping with the requirements of this website but I don't want members to think I am being unnecessarily picky.
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Post by tugboat on Mar 14, 2014 8:48:17 GMT
There are one or two things other that are not in keeping with the requirements of this website but I don't want members to think I am being unnecessarily picky. As if we would!
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