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Post by Miculo on Apr 27, 2014 16:00:26 GMT
When I was around 15 there was a pub behind the railway halt in the next town where unless you looked under 10 no questions would be asked. We used it a lot. One night we missed the last train home. Still it didn't matter. I was a lovely summer evening. We set off to walk and try thumbing a lift. Luckily a slightly older bloke we knew who was allowed to drive his father's car came along and picked us up.
Inevitably after a mile or so someone needed a pee. It was a quiet country road. Even so the pisser jumped over a gate into a field and disappeared. We called and called. Silence. Then eventually he appeared back at the gate carrying a huge armful of dirty magazines. Not your usual UK stuff. Imported filth. Someone much have dumped their entire collection over the hedge. Naturally we collected them all up and put them in the boot of the car. All the filth any group of teenage boys could ever have wanted.
Typing this, so many years later it has just occurred to me where the mags probably came from. The great discovery took place out in the countryside and one of the nearest houses, maybe a mile away, belonged to a guy who did international haulage even way back then. I imagine that who ever dumped them got nervous about keeping them as they would almost certainly have earned you a few months in jail. That didn't occur to us of course.
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Barry B'stard
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Post by Barry B'stard on Apr 27, 2014 16:33:06 GMT
When I was around 15 there was a pub behind the railway halt in the next town where unless you looked under 10 no questions would be asked. We used it a lot. One night we missed the last train home. Still it didn't matter. I was a lovely summer evening. We set off to walk and try thumbing a lift. Luckily a slightly older bloke we knew who was allowed to drive his father's car came along and picked us up. Inevitably after a mile or so someone needed a pee. It was a quiet country road. Even so the pisser jumped over a gate into a field and disappeared. We called and called. Silence. Then eventually he appeared back at the gate carrying a huge armful of dirty magazines. Not your usual UK stuff. Imported filth. Someone much have dumped their entire collection over the hedge. Naturally we collected them all up and put them in the boot of the car. All the filth any group of teenage boys could ever have wanted. Typing this, so many years later it has just occurred to me where the mags probably came from. The great discovery took place out in the countryside and one of the nearest houses, maybe a mile away, belonged to a guy who did international haulage even way back then. I imagine that who ever dumped them got nervous about keeping them as they would almost certainly have earned you a few months in jail. That didn't occur to us of course. Even Soho has cleaned up its act now. Back in 1981 I went on the school Art Trip down to London when I was in the fifth year. I dont think anyone really went to any of the Art exhibitions. Our hotel was in Leicester Square to just on the edge of Soho. All we wanted to do was find filth, get pissed and lure our female companions into our bedrooms. We were certainly good at the first two but not so succesful at the later from memory. London had a bit of an edge to it then. I also remember the under the counter videos we used to be able to get from our local garage if you were in the know. I think they were probably pretty illegal back then. I left one in the video at home once by accident and caught my mum and her friend from next door watching it when I came in from school! I got a bollocking but did notice it was at least half way through!
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Post by Miculo on Apr 27, 2014 16:46:39 GMT
Had a similar experience with The Queen one Christmas a few years back. House full of parents and grand parents, Told my youngest brother to go and set the VCR to tape the broadcast because dinner was going to coincide with it. Later on the wrinklies all gathered in the living room to watch it and lo and fucking behold right at the start of the tape there was a quick flash of what we for evermore described as a "Dirty Double Vicar". The stupid bugger had taped it over one of his prize porno tapes.
Lots of, "I say, what was that". "Bloody BBC, no standards these days", etc. Luckily it was just the merest flash, less than a second, of it so I was able to get away with, "what's the matter, is there something wrong"' and luckily none of them were going to describe what some of them thought they had seen in case they shocked the others with their odd imaginings. Close one all the same.
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Post by GB584 on Apr 27, 2014 17:21:37 GMT
Bloody hell, under the counter porn tapes prompted a memory! When I was a young lad in uniform in London we raided one of the shops Barry described and in order to present the evidence I was ordered to watch the tapes (two at a time on fast forward) and list the various acts, noting what time they appeared on the tapes. I thought it a dream job but by the end of the second day and about thirty tapes through the pile of hundreds it had started to lose its shine. By the third day I was on overload and happy to pass the job onto someone else who thought I was mad to give up such a plumb job (he lasted two days). I was lucky that sort of overload could have ruined me for life!
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Post by Miculo on Apr 27, 2014 17:28:30 GMT
Bet you didn't note any of it as Dirty Double Vicar though Terry.
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Post by GB584 on Apr 27, 2014 18:18:06 GMT
Bet you didn't note any of it as Dirty Double Vicar though Terry. It's a position I have to confess to not seeing or hearing about before; must have led a sheltered life?
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Post by Miculo on Apr 27, 2014 19:24:36 GMT
Not to worry, you probably haven't heard of it because we made it up on the spot due to most of my grandmother's friends having been vicars.
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Post by fatwelshbuddha on Apr 28, 2014 9:04:16 GMT
Bloody hell, under the counter porn tapes prompted a memory! When I was a young lad in uniform in London we raided one of the shops Barry described and in order to present the evidence I was ordered to watch the tapes (two at a time on fast forward) and list the various acts, noting what time they appeared on the tapes. I thought it a dream job but by the end of the second day and about thirty tapes through the pile of hundreds it had started to lose its shine. By the third day I was on overload and happy to pass the job onto someone else who thought I was mad to give up such a plumb job (he lasted two days). I was lucky that sort of overload could have ruined me for life! a friend of mine is a retired plod from Scotland. when he retired, he took himself back off to Uni and got a MSc in Forensic Computing and then contracted himself back to the Ploddery specializing in analyzing PC hard drives for deleted files in a whole range of cases - much of it was related to fraud etc but he did spend 2 years working on pedophilia cases. he says that was probably the most harrowing job he ever had to do as the stuff he dug up off PCs was way beyond normality.
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Post by GB584 on Apr 28, 2014 10:10:07 GMT
Bloody hell, under the counter porn tapes prompted a memory! When I was a young lad in uniform in London we raided one of the shops Barry described and in order to present the evidence I was ordered to watch the tapes (two at a time on fast forward) and list the various acts, noting what time they appeared on the tapes. I thought it a dream job but by the end of the second day and about thirty tapes through the pile of hundreds it had started to lose its shine. By the third day I was on overload and happy to pass the job onto someone else who thought I was mad to give up such a plumb job (he lasted two days). I was lucky that sort of overload could have ruined me for life! a friend of mine is a retired plod from Scotland. when he retired, he took himself back off to Uni and got a MSc in Forensic Computing and then contracted himself back to the Ploddery specializing in analyzing PC hard drives for deleted files in a whole range of cases - much of it was related to fraud etc but he did spend 2 years working on pedophilia cases. he says that was probably the most harrowing job he ever had to do as the stuff he dug up off PCs was way beyond normality. Got a retired colleague who did the same...drove him to drink with all the stuff he was having to research, certainly not a job I would want to do. It was always the best part of an interview when you presented the printouts of stuff they thought had disappeared when they hit the delete button. The look on their face after twenty minutes of denials was a gem. People have got a lot more savvy nowdays though and overwrite the hard drive with software specifically designed to get rid of the files. There are portable hard drives that are encrypted and almost impossible to unlock without the digital key.
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Post by fatwelshbuddha on Apr 28, 2014 10:57:01 GMT
a friend of mine is a retired plod from Scotland. when he retired, he took himself back off to Uni and got a MSc in Forensic Computing and then contracted himself back to the Ploddery specializing in analyzing PC hard drives for deleted files in a whole range of cases - much of it was related to fraud etc but he did spend 2 years working on pedophilia cases. he says that was probably the most harrowing job he ever had to do as the stuff he dug up off PCs was way beyond normality. Got a retired colleague who did the same...drove him to drink with all the stuff he was having to research, certainly not a job I would want to do. It was always the best part of an interview when you presented the printouts of stuff they thought had disappeared when they hit the delete button. The look on their face after twenty minutes of denials was a gem. People have got a lot more savvy nowdays though and overwrite the hard drive with software specifically designed to get rid of the files. There are portable hard drives that are encrypted and almost impossible to unlock without the digital key. yep - it's not that hard to do - plenty of free software out there to do that. I use one to wipe any hard drives on the business computers when we get rid of them after upgrading. if the PCs are going to charity, leaving a completely clean disk is best in my view. I think most who get caught though are as a result of a swift move by the plods so they don't get a chance to hide their data
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Post by GB584 on Apr 28, 2014 11:02:10 GMT
Fortunately some are really stupid and just don't think...Gary Glitter springs to mind!
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Post by fatwelshbuddha on Apr 28, 2014 11:06:18 GMT
Fortunately some are really stupid and just don't think...Gary Glitter springs to mind! and a few of those currently involved with the News of the World hacking trial.
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Post by fatwelshbuddha on May 13, 2014 16:49:22 GMT
I've just popped into FUCTS and posted a couple of minor things - but what a fucking pig ignorant bunch of UKIP supporting twats many of them are.
I want to have a pop at a few of them but frankly can't be arsed as they are so far up their own xenophobic arses that it's not worth my time
I'm going home
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Barry B'stard
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Post by Barry B'stard on May 13, 2014 17:42:14 GMT
I've just popped into FUCTS and posted a couple of minor things - but what a fucking pig ignorant bunch of UKIP supporting twats many of them are. I want to have a pop at a few of them but frankly can't be arsed as they are so far up their own xenophobic arses that it's not worth my time I'm going home Buds. I don't think its just FUCTS. Wildcamping, Fartsters (sorry Funsters) are all the same. Full of aging right wing "Glorious Britain" Wind bags who still think we have an Empire. Just let em get on with it. I cant be arsed.
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Post by Miculo on May 13, 2014 17:47:55 GMT
It's doing my fucking head in too, and I usually enjoy arguing with them. Just can't be arsed with the same crap every time. The trouble is someone needs to refute the shite they talk, unchallenged it becomes fact.
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