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Post by tugboat on Feb 21, 2017 7:45:12 GMT
For those of us whose knees don't work very well, crapping without sitting down is akin to bombing from 27,000feet, and would rquire training in the use of a bombsight in order to hit an invisible target. Not sure I could hold all those gyros while preparing the paper. And can you imagine the splashback? Prolly hit the ceiling if your arse wasn't in the way!
It may be alright for penguins, their arses are only about an inch off the ground.
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Post by penquin on Feb 21, 2017 10:50:39 GMT
it saves you having to carry a book or Kindle while visiting, 'cos you will need your hands to help hold you up (thereby increasing throughput of said toilets so more people can use them per hour - raising it from 2 per hour to about 42 per hour..... it will free up proper toilets for the rest of us so we don't have to stand outside rattling the door and holding inane conversations with other attendees.... You KNOW it makes sense........ Not if you shit on your hands by mistake How the heck can you do that if you are using your hands to support yourself or hang on to your trousers to prevent them slipping into the wet patch where the whole floor gets flooded when you flush......?
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Post by Sir Rowley Birkin on Feb 21, 2017 12:23:26 GMT
Yeah, I remember those bloody French "flush'n'rush" toilets... they should be BANNED. Many a flip-flop has been lost into the bottomless pit, heart problems and dizziness caused, because holding one's breath was ESSENTIAL, and feet entangled with wet second-hand toilet paper and other unmentionables. Yeah and double-Yeah, they're wonderful things those "squat and plop" toilets... NOT! Gimme a comfy, old-fashioned English wooden-seated Crapper, in a centrally heated loo, Sunday newspapers by your side and elbows firmly planted on numb knees... Bliss!
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Post by tugboat on Feb 21, 2017 16:11:31 GMT
With a name like yours, you should be an expert.
We bow to the master of bogwittery.
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Post by Sir Rowley Birkin on Feb 21, 2017 16:37:43 GMT
Oh yessss.... the most peaceful place in a family home...
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Post by tugboat on Feb 21, 2017 17:51:05 GMT
One of the joys of living alone, is not having to close the bathroom door.
Mind you, it can be a little disconcerting to be having a dump while Ellie looks on with an unblinking stare.
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Post by Sir Rowley Birkin on Feb 21, 2017 17:56:12 GMT
One of the joys of living alone, is not having to close the bathroom door. Mind you, it can be a little disconcerting to be having a dump while Ellie looks on with an unblinking stare. Not often she sees a red-faced Sumo wrestler in her house...
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Barry B'stard
Administrator
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Post by Barry B'stard on Feb 21, 2017 18:02:45 GMT
Seriously though has anyone ever ever, even the French ever actually "Logged Off" in one of their squat bogs? Surely not. I always assumed they were just there for a joke to catch out funny foreigners. I mean imagine if you have a go and and the foot rests are a bit wet, your flip flip slips mid launch. How many fecking emergency services will need to be called to sort out that shit storm (literally) ?
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Post by Milly on Feb 21, 2017 18:51:36 GMT
I´m really glad we have no urge to go to France
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Post by Sir Rowley Birkin on Feb 21, 2017 19:39:24 GMT
Seriously though has anyone ever ever, even the French ever actually "Logged Off" in one of their squat bogs? Surely not. I always assumed they were just there for a joke to catch out funny foreigners. I mean imagine if you have a go and and the foot rests are a bit wet, your flip flip slips mid launch. How many fecking emergency services will need to be called to sort out that shit storm (literally) ? Yesss!!! That's exactly what I'm talking about Bazza. They're a feckin' nightmare, designed by the French to have a laugh at the expense of us dozy Brits when we're at our most vulnerable!
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Post by prof20 on Feb 22, 2017 11:49:44 GMT
For those of us whose knees don't work very well, crapping without sitting down is akin to bombing from 27,000feet, and would rquire training in the use of a bombsight in order to hit an invisible target. Not sure I could hold all those gyros while preparing the paper. And can you imagine the splashback? Prolly hit the ceiling if your arse wasn't in the way! It may be alright for penguins, their arses are only about an inch off the ground. Don't give me that, Tuggers. As an ex-sailor you should be used to crapping anywhere. In fact, you have whole decks devoted to crapping, namely the 'poop' deck and the 'mess' deck, both open to the elements and swept clean regularly by heavy seas. You must be the world's expert in crapping without sitting down, with the deck rolling under you whilst avoiding the piles of poop sliding from side to side, clinging tightly to your bogroll or copy of Tugboat Times with one hand to stop it getting soaked or blown away, whilst holding on to your bell en bottoms with the other hand.
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Post by tugboat on Feb 22, 2017 13:56:20 GMT
I have never (said in my best Clinton impersonation) clung tightly to Bogroll. Tugboat Times? Now that's proper karzy reading material. And my knees were younger in those days, Roger. And.......they weren't supporting such a heavy load, I'm embarassed to admit!
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