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Post by joe on Mar 13, 2014 22:37:34 GMT
A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan
desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find
water, he hurried toward the spot only to find a British soldier
selling regimental ties.
The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?"
The soldier replied, "There is no water, the well is dry. Would you
like to buy a tie instead? They are only £5."
The Taliban shouted, "You idiot infidel! I do not need an over-priced
tie. I need water! I should kill you, But I must find water first!"
"OK," said the soldier, "It does not matter that you do not want to buy
a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that,
and that I am a much better human being than you. If you continue over
that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find our Sergeant's
Mess. It has all the ice cold water you need. Inshallah."
Cursing him, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.
Several hours later he staggered back, collapsed with dehydration &
rasped ....
"They won't let me in without a f-------g tie!”
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Post by Miculo on Mar 14, 2014 8:37:12 GMT
Interesting story and entirely possible. Had the same happen to me at a very faded but obviously once grand Hotel in Malawi up near the Tanzanian border. They would not let into the dining room without a tie. The very nice and rather aloof head waiter in his scruffy dinner jacket was not to be swayed. Eventually he found an old tie somewhere, it was completely filthy obviously having been dipped plenty of meals by other borrowers. I looped it round my belt and he was happy. The food was surprisingly good although naturally it was chambo, which most food in rural Malawi then tended to be. At that time Malawi had only one species of fish in the lake and in it's rivers. Chambo was everywhere.
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Post by penquin on Mar 20, 2014 8:24:45 GMT
Name dropping that he has managed to get further than Paris..... was it a lonng drive in the MH?
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Post by Miculo on Mar 20, 2014 9:11:18 GMT
Yes, but we had some difficulty finding LPG in the Sahara. Hardly good enough. They need to get their act together.
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Post by penquin on Mar 20, 2014 11:23:29 GMT
Now if it is name dropping for places......
we had a superb camel trip in the Sahara a few years ago IN THE RAIN....... got absolutely soaked through and that night boy was it cold....... that has to be a fairly unusual experience....
Surely you only needed to dig a bit deeper as most of that part of the world seems to have petro-chemical depositis underneath them - just keep digging (which on Fruitcakes we are super at doing.....)
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Post by valphil on Mar 20, 2014 11:59:00 GMT
Interesting story and entirely possible. Had the same happen to me at a very faded but obviously once grand Hotel in Malawi up near the Tanzanian border. They would not let into the dining room without a tie. The very nice and rather aloof head waiter in his scruffy dinner jacket was not to be swayed. Eventually he found an old tie somewhere, it was completely filthy obviously having been dipped plenty of meals by other borrowers. I looped it round my belt and he was happy. The food was surprisingly good although naturally it was chambo, which most food in rural Malawi then tended to be. At that time Malawi had only one species of fish in the lake and in it's rivers. Chambo was everywhere. I've caught and eaten chambo myself usually with chimanga and dried beans , having been brought up in Malawi (then Nyasaland ) and spent many holidays up at the lake . by train to Salima then over land to Monkey Bay . we had a Roundaval on the beach . my dad bought me a baby crocodile off the local fishermen in their dugouts .
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Post by penquin on Mar 20, 2014 12:11:07 GMT
What recipe did you use for you snap, snap snack?
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Post by Miculo on Mar 20, 2014 13:45:42 GMT
Great country Phil. We had numerous friends with cottages at the lake and spent quite a few weekends there. Got pissed in Monkey Bay Club one evening on our way to do "the cruise" on the Ilala. Jesus Christ what an endurance test that turned out to be. Seems it was a standard trick of the lags in Blantyre Club to recommend "the cruise"to the unwary. Bastards. I think the hotel was in Karonga, but not sure. Banda urges Malawi women to vote for black cock. True or apocryphal? Here are details of the Ilala for the unwary www.malawi-travel.com/index.php/en/lake-malawi-south/mv-ilala-cruises looking at the best picture they could find to head their web page really tells you all you need to know. I think we spent three days on it, utterly cooked, with nothing to do and the smell coming up from the bottom two decks in the still air was unbelievable. As far as I know there are no facilities down there, not even a toilet. They pack people on to it till it's pretty much standing room only and at most of the stops they just go into shallows, lower the boats and throw people and their luggage off the boat. It is amazing and by the looks has only gotten worse over the years. Where did you live Phil?
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