Post by prof20 on Jul 6, 2015 17:44:49 GMT
Health & Safety noticeboard leaves three hurt, one mildly giddy
Three office workers have been injured after attempting to take in all the information displayed on the Health & Safety noticeboard in their workplace’s canteen.
One of the men, who doesn’t want to be named for fear of having to fill out a form, suffered mild light-headedness saying “It’s ridiculous! All that information in such a small space. How can we be expected to absorb it all in one go? I need to lie down. And when I recover, I’ll be putting in a claim.”
One of the other men, who also wishes to remain anonymous, said he had to take solace (and his life in his own hands) by eating a sausage and bacon sandwich with lashings of brown sauce after being victim to what he described as a serious assault on his eyeballs. He is convinced there will be long term consequences, followed by a period of recuperation during which he’ll be thinking hard about the wording of the ‘inevitable and entirely justifiable’ claim he is about to make.
Unfortunately however, the third man was forced to go home early after suffering a severe paper cut to his left eyebrow after a sudden breeze through the canteen window blew one of the safety flash reports straight off the board and into his forehead.
No further news on the man’s condition was available although one witness said the victim was at least able to put his name down for the Spa day in August, where it’s believed he’s looking forward to a facial, a French manicure and a full body massage, leaving him finally relaxed enough to consider making a substantial claim.
Health & safety boards have now been declared a health & safety hazard by the health & safety inspectorate.
Three office workers have been injured after attempting to take in all the information displayed on the Health & Safety noticeboard in their workplace’s canteen.
One of the men, who doesn’t want to be named for fear of having to fill out a form, suffered mild light-headedness saying “It’s ridiculous! All that information in such a small space. How can we be expected to absorb it all in one go? I need to lie down. And when I recover, I’ll be putting in a claim.”
One of the other men, who also wishes to remain anonymous, said he had to take solace (and his life in his own hands) by eating a sausage and bacon sandwich with lashings of brown sauce after being victim to what he described as a serious assault on his eyeballs. He is convinced there will be long term consequences, followed by a period of recuperation during which he’ll be thinking hard about the wording of the ‘inevitable and entirely justifiable’ claim he is about to make.
Unfortunately however, the third man was forced to go home early after suffering a severe paper cut to his left eyebrow after a sudden breeze through the canteen window blew one of the safety flash reports straight off the board and into his forehead.
No further news on the man’s condition was available although one witness said the victim was at least able to put his name down for the Spa day in August, where it’s believed he’s looking forward to a facial, a French manicure and a full body massage, leaving him finally relaxed enough to consider making a substantial claim.
Health & safety boards have now been declared a health & safety hazard by the health & safety inspectorate.