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Post by penquin on Aug 9, 2014 21:56:33 GMT
Move to France, we 'ave no bludy Elf & Safety here and the accident rate is lower than the UK.....
mind you the red wine helps make things move smoothly so you might try it on yer nadgers.....
I recommend a cheap bottle of Chateau van Shite, the colour looks like pi$$ and the flavour is reminiscent of it too......
available ex-stock by male order (or female order) if you really want, we supply it in the dehydrated form so you just need to add water.....
Dave
Official Fruitcakes French advisor for those suffering from hemorrhoids, piles, constipation, diarrhoea (there you never thought anyone could spell that word did you?) or the runs/Montezumas Revenge/Delhi Belly/The trots/Loose stools or anything similar......
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Post by tugboat on Aug 10, 2014 5:48:18 GMT
Squits? Shit through the eye of a needle?
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Post by Miculo on Aug 10, 2014 8:31:52 GMT
I remember from my Bible studies that it's easier for a rich man to shit through the eye of a camel than it is for a needle.
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Post by GB584 on Aug 10, 2014 9:18:00 GMT
That 'As Good as Nails' worked well on my loose stool.
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Post by Kaytutt on Aug 10, 2014 14:16:33 GMT
That 'As Good as Nails' worked well on my loose stool. that made me giggle
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Post by GB584 on Aug 10, 2014 14:26:12 GMT
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Post by prof20 on Aug 11, 2014 14:44:05 GMT
Hit a child with a board rubber or length of rubber tubing today and there would be hell to pay. It was a sign of affection at my school especially if you got a kick up the arse to go with it. Yeh, but you went to a Borstal whilst the rest of us went to proper schools. I'll have you know my school was approved.......
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2014 16:36:44 GMT
Move to France, we 'ave no bludy Elf & Safety here and the accident rate is lower than the UK..... But the French DO have higher road casualty figures than UK, apparently...
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Joe66
Fruitcake full access member
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Post by Joe66 on Aug 11, 2014 19:20:25 GMT
Move to France, we 'ave no bludy Elf & Safety here and the accident rate is lower than the UK..... But the French DO have higher road casualty figures than UK, apparently... They are only higher because there mountains a bigger that ours, on the lower roads we come out tops.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 11, 2014 19:29:59 GMT
Gerraway - the Paris Peripherique alone has more accidents than the whole of the UK road network!
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Post by penquin on Aug 15, 2014 17:46:42 GMT
But the biggest cause for admission to hospital in France is alcohol related..... whether it's drunk in charge of skis, drunk in charge of a motor vehicle, or drunk in charge of a baguette - the outcome is the same - admission to hospital.........
Mind you when the hospitals serve red wine with lunch, I suspect they are proliferating the problem........
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Post by aldra on Sept 2, 2014 21:25:08 GMT
Will they serve white
I feel an illness coming on Aldra
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Post by penquin on Sept 24, 2014 14:06:03 GMT
Not round this area - it is predominantly a red area, now if I had written it is predominantly a white area I would probably have infringed some UK base equal opportunities bod with nothing better to do than use his clipboard to clip people around the ears when he is bored....... But they don't do black wine or golliwog wine or anything similar over here so racist comments can't be made....... or can they? or will I be jumped on from a high height by the UK bods as this is a UK based web of intrigue......?
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Post by Deleted on Sept 24, 2014 15:40:52 GMT
You've never heard of "the black wine of Cahors" then?
Lovely stuff!
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baldeagle
Frequent Poster
2000 Chausson Welcome 80,low profile,LHD,Gilera Fuoco 500(mad max) and Honda Dylan 125
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Post by baldeagle on Sept 24, 2014 16:17:49 GMT
Gerraway - the Paris Peripherique alone has more accidents than the whole of the UK road network! When I was trucking I was stuck in a truc on the Peripherique,high up,LHS,idly looked down into the car next to me and the driver alone was having a wank WTF do some people get off on??
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