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Post by GB584 on Oct 9, 2018 9:00:10 GMT
Brave Sir Craig ran away. ("No!") Bravely ran away away. ("I didn't!") When danger reared it's ugly head, He bravely turned his tail and fled. ("I never!") Yes, brave Sir Craig turned about And gallantly he chickened out. ("You're lying!") Swiftly taking to his feet, He beat a very brave retreat. Bravest of the brave, Sir Craig! Apologies to Monty Pythons 'Brave Sir Robin' www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZwuTo7zKM8
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Barry B'stard
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Post by Barry B'stard on Oct 9, 2018 9:46:59 GMT
Love the new line.
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Post by GB584 on Oct 9, 2018 10:15:03 GMT
Love the new line. Twat...I forgot about the auto correct, mind you it does improve it somewhat
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Post by prof20 on Oct 9, 2018 11:56:12 GMT
Old joke still true... A young constable sees his mates getting knocked down and beaten during a riot, bricks, bottles and stones flying everywhere. Thousands of violent protesters outnumber the police ten to one...
After a couple of minutes the young copper cracks and runs, ending up cowering in a shop doorway. A figure stands over him and places a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
"Come on son," says the figure "You're mates are still out their holding the line and doing their duty. They're relying on you - don't let them down...don't let yourself down...don't let the force down."
The young copper takes a deep breath..."You're right sarge, I'll be alright now." He stands up and starts to walk back to the line.
The figure says "Well, done lad...oh, and by the way, it's Chief Superintendent, not Sergeant" "Bloody hell!" say the young copper "I didn't realise I'd run that far back..."
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Barry B'stard
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Post by Barry B'stard on Oct 9, 2018 12:37:53 GMT
What are those Gansta guns? Mac 10? I like them. And nunchakus. And a samurai sword for good measure. Proper tooled up.
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Post by GB584 on Oct 9, 2018 12:55:22 GMT
Old joke still true... A young constable sees his mates getting knocked down and beaten during a riot, bricks, bottles and stones flying everywhere. Thousands of violent protesters outnumber the police ten to one...
After a couple of minutes the young copper cracks and runs, ending up cowering in a shop doorway. A figure stands over him and places a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
"Come on son," says the figure "You're mates are still out their holding the line and doing their duty. They're relying on you - don't let them down...don't let yourself down...don't let the force down."
The young copper takes a deep breath..."You're right sarge, I'll be alright now." He stands up and starts to walk back to the line.
The figure says "Well, done lad...oh, and by the way, it's Chief Superintendent, not Sergeant" "Bloody hell!" say the young copper "I didn't realise I'd run that far back..."
I use to teach officers 'Shield Training' (riot training before it all went PC) and that was one of the jokes I would tell at the beginning of the training as a bit of an ice breaker. That was a brilliant job, acting like a yob by chucking lumps of wood at the trainees or being the 'nutter in the room' and wielding a baseball bat at the shields as the teams tried to make a room entry. Sometimes I couldn't believe I got paid to do what I did.
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Post by Sir Rowley Birkin on Oct 9, 2018 14:50:42 GMT
Old joke still true... A young constable sees his mates getting knocked down and beaten during a riot, bricks, bottles and stones flying everywhere. Thousands of violent protesters outnumber the police ten to one...
After a couple of minutes the young copper cracks and runs, ending up cowering in a shop doorway. A figure stands over him and places a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
"Come on son," says the figure "You're mates are still out their holding the line and doing their duty. They're relying on you - don't let them down...don't let yourself down...don't let the force down."
The young copper takes a deep breath..."You're right sarge, I'll be alright now." He stands up and starts to walk back to the line.
The figure says "Well, done lad...oh, and by the way, it's Chief Superintendent, not Sergeant" "Bloody hell!" say the young copper "I didn't realise I'd run that far back..."
I use to teach officers 'Shield Training' (riot training before it all went PC) and that was one of the jokes I would tell at the beginning of the training as a bit of an ice breaker. That was a brilliant job, acting like a yob by chucking lumps of wood at the trainees or being the 'nutter in the room' and wielding a baseball bat at the shields as the teams tried to make a room entry. Sometimes I couldn't believe I got paid to do what I did. Some injuries at Lippetts Hill doing that so they had to tone it down, unfortunately. It was never as good after that.
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Post by Sir Rowley Birkin on Oct 9, 2018 14:52:16 GMT
Did either of you ex-Job ever do "The Trudge"?? Or am I swinging the blue lamp here?
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Barry B'stard
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Post by Barry B'stard on Oct 9, 2018 15:48:00 GMT
Pervert.
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Post by GB584 on Oct 9, 2018 16:27:15 GMT
When I was at Hendon the Trudge was still being taught. Never used it in real life though. Used just about everything else though even the "Oh no my arse is fire" dance which was especially useful at Brixton a few years later.
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Post by raynipper on Oct 9, 2018 16:29:49 GMT
Brixton, Railton Road and immediately after the riots I had to deliver white goods there and wanted to put a line of GollyBery stickers along the side of my van. But I felt intimidated.
Ray.
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Post by GB584 on Oct 9, 2018 16:36:15 GMT
Brixton, Railton Road and immediately after the riots I had to deliver white goods there and wanted to put a line of GollyBery stickers along the side of my van. But I felt intimidated. Ray. Hardly surprising they needed the shops restocking, as soon as it kicked off the locals put all the windows in and stole everything, White goods, tv's, stereos and anything else that could be dragged up the road.
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Post by Sir Rowley Birkin on Oct 9, 2018 16:39:34 GMT
When I was at Hendon the Trudge was still being taught. Never used it in real life though. Used just about everything else though even the "Oh no my arse is fire" dance which was especially useful at Brixton a few years later. Yes, I well remember that dance - I went to the same party!! We had a wonderful time... "Dodge the milk crate" and "Head the brick" were great fun... I was one of the first there. Fifteen hours later I think I had overstayed my welcome...
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Post by GB584 on Oct 9, 2018 17:14:44 GMT
I can remember thinking that the brick throwers needed a lot more practice as they were very slow and not very accurate. One guy came out from a side street with a petrol bomb and as he extended his arm behind his head he tilted the bottle and poured petrol over his own head. The air was foul with the smell of burning dreadlocks, we generously offered to beat the flames out for him...
It was a long, long night and I ended up falling asleep on my shield (it was laying on the floor before anyone asks). Got home late the following morning and had to cut my boot laces to get my boots off as they had melted together. I had to use string to tie them as after a couple of hours sleep I had to go back to work. Had to stain the string black just in case some knob end of a guvnor decided to parade us. Mrs GB was not too impressed when I was watching the news and pointed out some locals launching a burning industrial wheelie bin straight at me and my team mates.
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Post by Sir Rowley Birkin on Oct 9, 2018 17:37:41 GMT
I think I was the Serial ahead of you, Tel. We were warned at about 3am to get out arses over to Norwood Police Station for ferrying to Brixton " Where it had all taken off in the night". I was there by about 4.30 or 5am and still there at gone 6pm. We were lucky. It had been a reasonably quiet morning, with roving bands of brick and bottle throwers at the back of the relatively quiet crowds of onlookers. I was in the centre of the dual carriageway, just near the railway bridge, denying this area to the rioters. By the early afternoon it had started to get tasty and because we were forbidden to pursue, we had to just stand and take it - if we'd moved, the rioters would have had control of Brixton Road and Atlantic Road. We did short chases but we had no shields then, just the minibus and batting missiles with the back doors!
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