Barry B'stard
Administrator
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Posts: 63,980
Type of Motorhome: A great big white one
About you: I like beer, guitar, causing trouble, avoiding work
Likes: 20,571
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Post by Barry B'stard on Aug 19, 2014 9:02:09 GMT
There is a fucking Marmot shit in my bed.
Ive been fixing my walking stick as it broke yesterday while hiking. Mrs D told me not to fuck about fixing stuff on the bed. I spent ages taking the collapsible stick to bits and threading string and elastic through it to fix it. Bits of soil and stuff dropped out but I just thought I would shake it off later.
Half an hour later and Ive fixed the stick and proud of my make and mend efforts.
Then I noticed the round light brown marble which was slightly flat as I had sat on it. Must of got stuck on the end of the stick or in one of the broken telescopic pieces when we were up in the mountains yesterday. Shit!
I tried rubbing the sheet a bit and I thought I had got away with it until Mrs D caught me disposing of the little round Marmot turd in the bin.
Anyone know a good solution for cleaning up Marmot shite?
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Post by fatwelshbuddha on Aug 19, 2014 9:11:19 GMT
lick it clean??
and are you absolutley sure it's marmot shit and not something like bouquetin, cerf, chevreuil, chamois or mouflon merde. have you smelt it?
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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2014 9:20:19 GMT
Better yet, taste it!
Anyway, Barry, if you will take up adventurous pursuits like hiking up mountains, you deserve all you get.
Does this come across as a lack of sympathy on my part?
Tough, but then you have threatened to increase the subs to Fruitcakes so it serves you right, meany!
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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2014 9:23:08 GMT
Anyone know a good solution for cleaning up Marmot shite? Either: (a) Visit a campsite with a washing-machine, or (b) Visit a supermarket with washing-machines outside (quite a few Intermarches do, but other chains will do it too.
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Post by nicholsong on Aug 19, 2014 10:03:36 GMT
Barry
So now you have broken something else and soiled the bed - all in one day!
anyway it would not have happened if you had a MH with a living room AND a bedroom.
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Barry B'stard
Administrator
80%
Posts: 63,980
Type of Motorhome: A great big white one
About you: I like beer, guitar, causing trouble, avoiding work
Likes: 20,571
|
Post by Barry B'stard on Aug 19, 2014 10:52:16 GMT
Good job I didn't tell you about the brakes failing on the pass yesterday or me nearly falling out of the cable car door then. www.motorhomefacts.com/ftopict-215042-.htmlOi Geoff! We have a living room. Two living rooms! They also make too bedrooms! and a third one in the crows nest. I just couldn't be arsed to fix it standing up! Its definitely a Marmot poo and not a bouquetin, cerf, chevreuil, chamois or mouflon. Ill be catching one later for the Barbecue (if I had one). Didn't smell of anything really so its definitely not one of mine.
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Post by 747 on Aug 19, 2014 12:13:32 GMT
As these animals are Herbivores, the stain will come out easily. I believe the problem lies with the fact that you are not stern enough with your wife. I think she needs more discipline.
Do not accept any backchat and make sure she knows her place.
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Post by fatwelshbuddha on Aug 19, 2014 12:22:45 GMT
I do believe that marmots are coprophagic - i.e. they eat their own faeces to get more nutrition out of the meagre resources they live on - so you would have been OK eating it. nowt to beat a bit of shit for lunch.....
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Post by GB584 on Aug 19, 2014 12:44:31 GMT
Best way to get rid of it is to leave it for a week or two until it becomes crusty and flaky, use a stiff nailbrush to remove the residue. Wash normally when you change the sheets during the following months. I'm not 100% sure if it works with Marmoset shit but it certainly does with mine.
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Post by tugboat on Aug 19, 2014 13:54:56 GMT
] I'm not 100% sure if it works with Marmoset shit but it certainly does with mine. [
Be cheaper to go out and buy a new sheet than pay for the leccy needed to run the extra forced air ventilation.
Presumably your wife's sense of smell has been destroyed by your emanations over the years.
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Barry B'stard
Administrator
80%
Posts: 63,980
Type of Motorhome: A great big white one
About you: I like beer, guitar, causing trouble, avoiding work
Likes: 20,571
|
Post by Barry B'stard on Aug 19, 2014 14:27:02 GMT
] I'm not 100% sure if it works with Marmoset shit but it certainly does with mine. [ Be cheaper to go out and buy a new sheet than pay for the leccy needed to run the extra forced air ventilation. Presumably your wife's sense of smell has been destroyed by your emanations over the years. No unfortunately not! She can smell shit at 100 yards and constantly tells me I smell of shit an all! Maybe it was mine I dunno.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2014 15:47:56 GMT
I believe the problem lies with the fact that you are not stern enough with your wife. I think she needs more discipline.
Do not accept any backchat and make sure she knows her place. Sounds like you're quoting from the Qur'an.
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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2014 15:50:47 GMT
She can smell shit at 100 yards and constantly tells me I smell of shit an all! Maybe it was mine I dunno. You must have been really pissed if you don't know whether you shat the bed or not. Really, there's no taking you anywhere, Mr D. Well, no more than twice at any rate, and the second time's to apologise for the first!
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Post by Deleted on Aug 19, 2014 15:58:31 GMT
I do note that you keep all your best stories for the oiks on FUCTS rather than we subscription-paying members of Fruitcakes. Any more of that shoddy behaviour and I may not renew my subscription next year - especially as you intend increasing the rate by 1,000%.
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Post by Miculo on Aug 19, 2014 16:28:07 GMT
I know a zoologist whose speciality is identifying animal turds in the wild. It's done to determine what lives where. His name is Hugh. Naturally he's known as Hugh Poo. If you want his address you can send him a lump for identification, he will be delighted.
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