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Post by tugboat on Apr 24, 2014 8:58:31 GMT
I'm getting into panic mode in the run-up to departure. I seem to have a never-ending list of jobs to do.
Van to clean Car to clean all the birdshit off (rookery over my driveway) Bike to service and clean Garage door to paint House to clean, so the neighbours who'll pick up my mail won't feel contaminated. Grass to cut Van to load Finances to sort iBoost aerial to rig Brain to have MOT'd etc etc
Ellie had a haircut this morning so that's one job out of the way, undercoat garage door next as it's dry out now.
I think I need a valium. I'd hoped to get away this weekend, but think I might be a couple of days late.
Barry, when are you intending to get to Croft?
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Barry B'stard
Administrator
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Type of Motorhome: A great big white one
About you: I like beer, guitar, causing trouble, avoiding work
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Post by Barry B'stard on Apr 24, 2014 9:04:09 GMT
You daft old fart. Just chuck in the beer (Gin in your case) and set off. What else is there to do? I am hoping to be at Croft next Friday afternoon probably around or just after lunchtime. I say hoping as sods law dictates that I'm going to be in the middle of a big job which should have been done by now but you can bet your bottom dollar its now going to clash with Croft. Scottie is bringing a big tent and I wanted to be there to help put that up as well as Marshal the new arrivals whatever the feck that entails. Rayrecrok is going to be the first to arrive I think as hes going to be there Thursday.
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Post by tugboat on Apr 24, 2014 10:57:33 GMT
Cheers, me hearty, I'll try and get there Friday a.m. to give a hand with the lunchtime drinking session. Back to today.........I hope those people at Dulux know what they're doing. The other day I bought some Weathershield gloss for the garage door. Pale grey u/c was recommended but not available so I got white. I knew I had some dark grey at home that I could mix it with. Today, I empty half the tin of white into the dark grey and give it a good stir. Hmmmmm, that doesn't seem to be going well. Look at the white tin and it says 'clean with water'!! I've just been trying to mix water-based with oil-based. Fuck, just wasted half a tin. The topcoat is oil-based and the u/c is water-based. What's that all about? It used to be that u/c and gloss that would be used together would both be oil-based. I realise I may be out of touch with paint technology, but just hope they are compatible. I'm quite capable of screwing up DIY jobs, without Dulux's help thank you very much. Grrr! Bollox.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2014 11:46:04 GMT
You should give up painting and take up easy DIY jobs, such as laying a hard-standing for one's motorhome.
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Post by tugboat on Apr 24, 2014 13:17:48 GMT
I've already got a very nice one of those, thank you, Knackers. Smug smug!
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Barry B'stard
Administrator
80%
Posts: 63,798
Type of Motorhome: A great big white one
About you: I like beer, guitar, causing trouble, avoiding work
Likes: 20,552
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Post by Barry B'stard on Apr 24, 2014 14:00:54 GMT
Is the motorhome landing strip finished then? Lets see the photos.
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Post by GB584 on Apr 24, 2014 14:46:28 GMT
Tuggy, you need to priorities and multi task, this is much easier than women would have you to believe.
Step one, put motorbike in house and hose down-this will clean both house and bike at the same time. Step two, pour the tins of paint you have just fucked up by mixing them over the lawn...it won't need cutting for years. Step three, leave the car. The birds will shit on again just to spite you. Step four, leave the motorhome, the motley crew at Croft will shit on it just to spite you. Step five, follow Barry's suggestion and just chuck the essentials into the van, start with the alcohol and work your way down the priority list.
See multi tasking...piece of piss!
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Post by tugboat on Apr 24, 2014 19:23:30 GMT
Oh, alright, I didn't realise it was that easy. I find breathing and walking at the same time difficult enough.
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Post by alhod on Apr 24, 2014 23:09:00 GMT
Surely the crew who fixed the hard pad can wield a paintbrush? Why do a job yourself and deprive some downtrodden tradesman of much needed wonga. Give him the job so he can go out Friday night and get pissed - you know it'll make you feel good.
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Post by tugboat on Apr 25, 2014 7:31:58 GMT
I can't possibly post photos. You would see the humbleness of my abode compared to the stately homes that you lot reside in. I know I have 4 bedrooms and 3 bogs, but it sits on a postage stamp and I am conscious of the fact that you have nice driveways to park your top of the range MHs whereas I, poor unworthy fellow that I am, have to park mine across half the front of the house.
Oh, woe is me, the shame I have to live with is almost unbearable.
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Post by Miculo on Apr 25, 2014 7:40:07 GMT
Sounds like premises envy to me.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 25, 2014 7:40:54 GMT
Tuggy, you need to priorities and multi task, this is much easier than women would have you to believe. Step one, put motorbike in house and hose down-this will clean both house and bike at the same time. Step two, pour the tins of paint you have just fucked up by mixing them over the lawn...it won't need cutting for years. Step three, leave the car. The birds will shit on again just to spite you. Step four, leave the motorhome, the motley crew at Croft will shit on it just to spite you. Step five, follow Barry's suggestion and just chuck the essentials into the van, start with the alcohol and work your way down the priority list. See multi tasking...piece of piss! I would like to add a little trick we used to use in Her Majesty's Mob to discourage shitehawks. Take phosphorus out of smoke floats and mix with pieces of bread. Throw bread out for shitehawks and as they take off, they explode in mid air often leaving the wings intact but independent of the body which tends to disintegrate. This is due to the mix of fluids in their gut. I am sure it would work for rooks or more likely choughs. I was once tempted to make the mother in law a sandwich to a similar recipe above. Oh how I would have laughed to see her tits fly off. P.S Is this Croft thing a meet. If so, can somoene post some pics of the event for those who are frightened to go.
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Post by Miculo on Apr 25, 2014 7:49:46 GMT
I suppose you weren't allowed to machine gun them then?
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Post by Deleted on Apr 25, 2014 9:07:03 GMT
I suppose you weren't allowed to machine gun them then? No. It was deemed cruel.
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Post by tugboat on Apr 25, 2014 9:43:37 GMT
Tuggy, you need to priorities and multi task, this is much easier than women would have you to believe. Step one, put motorbike in house and hose down-this will clean both house and bike at the same time. Step two, pour the tins of paint you have just fucked up by mixing them over the lawn...it won't need cutting for years. Step three, leave the car. The birds will shit on again just to spite you. Step four, leave the motorhome, the motley crew at Croft will shit on it just to spite you. Step five, follow Barry's suggestion and just chuck the essentials into the van, start with the alcohol and work your way down the priority list. See multi tasking...piece of piss! I would like to add a little trick we used to use in Her Majesty's Mob to discourage shitehawks. Take phosphorus out of smoke floats and mix with pieces of bread. Throw bread out for shitehawks and as they take off, they explode in mid air often leaving the wings intact but independent of the body which tends to disintegrate. This is due to the mix of fluids in their gut. I am sure it would work for rooks or more likely choughs. I was once tempted to make the mother in law a sandwich to a similar recipe above. Oh how I would have laughed to see her tits fly off. P.S Is this Croft thing a meet. If so, can somoene post some pics of the event for those who are frightened to go. quote]I was once tempted to make the mother in law a sandwich to a similar recipe above. Oh how I would have laughed to see her tits fly off.[unquote You're a funny guy, Pusser. Sick, but very funny! So you're suggesting that instead of having my van, car and driveway covered in birdshit, I should aim to have them covered in exploded bird carcasses? Hmmm, I'll have a think about that one. It would be fun though. I was told 2 tricks for seagulls. Get some of that calcium carbide that was used in the old carbide lamps, and put a piece of that in some bread. That makes the buggers explode. Allegedly. The other was to get a fishing rod and cast a piece of fat onto the water, to be guzzled down by a gull. Something about their digestive system makes them reject fat, so it goes straight through them and they are tethered on the line. You can then fly them like a kite. allegedly.
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